It is the evening before our son would have been born. It is hard to put into words the mix of emotions I have felt this past year. The excitement of pregnancy, the sadness of loss and the gratitude I continue to feel each evening I tightly hold my girls and husband.
I wasn’t going to write at all but this week at a work conference, I was reminded that silence is not an option. When we remain in silence about the realities of life, we can be shackled to the experience and suffer alone. When we are silent about injustice we see, we are just as guilty by not saying a word.
So, today I choose to speak on life. Our son was real. He existed. He didn’t survive to meet us on earth but he remains a memory of hope and joy. Hope that I someday will hold him in heaven with his other siblings that never came to life on earth. The world moves on but for many families, I have heard your pain. Families living in infertility. We see you and pray for your comfort. If you experienced, miscarriage and stillbirth, they were real living beings that heaven holds dearly. To the parents of toddlers, school-age and adult that have experienced death after raising these loved ones, my heart aches and only hopes that others help you remember him or her. As I’m sure not a day goes by that you haven’t thought of them.
Gratefulness is an understatement for this gift of life. To receive another day to experience the joy and trials that come with human existence, is simply a gift. When things don’t seem expected, just or fair, I have to look to Christ and trust that He knows, He see me or your experience.
The eternal life that He has given freely to all who ask far outweighs the experience of earthly pleasures. I turn on the news or receive a message to be quickly reminded how fleeting this temporal body is. We long for more because we were designed for eternity. We long for perfection because the garden of Eden was supposed to be our dwelling. There will be a day when pain is no more but until then, I close my eyes and thank my Heavenly Father for every blessing He has bestowed.
I long for those little lives I lost in February. I am sad that Anders will not be born tomorrow but eternity is coming and that is what what we are ultimately living for.
My beautiful family will be experiencing Maine this week for the first time. We will live in this moment, embracing every memory because this life is too precious and fleeting to do otherwise.
Don’t wait for sorrow to learn this lesson. Hug your loved ones and live out loud. Don’t suffer in silence, call a friend. I’m sorry for your pain but there is One greater that can provide peace that nothing on earth can give you.
Peace and love from the Veenemas.
“Though mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you.”